Texe Marrs

The Devil is going to have a hot, hot time on his visit to Earth to meet with his many, many admirers.

One day, down in sulphurous, bubbling, suffocatingly steaming hell, Beelzebub, the Devil’s chief lieutenant, made an unannounced appearance before the fiery throne of his infernal master, Lucifer.

"My lord," Beelzebub exclaimed, "I have just returned from my most recent trip to the surface of planet earth and, oh my, my!—do they ever love you up there!"

"Hmmm," the devil contemplated, hand on bearded chin, "How can you be so sure?" he inquired.

"Because," Beelzebub exuberantly responded, "No matter where I went, from New York to Chicago, Dallas, Berlin, London, Beijing and points in between, the earthlings have erected thrilling statues and other idols of you, complete with horns and hooves. And often, even in many places where your exact image is not found, these slavish human disciples have painted, sculpted, and now publicly display grotesquely beautiful creatures that perfectly represent your unusually cruel, cunning, and crafty character and conduct—creatures like the serpent, the scorpion, the horned goat-god, and the dragon."

Loving what he had heard, Lucifer’s hoary, hairy chest heaved wildly with pompous pride. He grinned with malicious glee. His eyes widened with possibilities.

"This is perfect," the Devil suddenly roared, "just perfect. Let us then wait no longer, Beelzebub. The fools up there on the surface are simply dying to see me, the Great One, in person, Face to Face."

"My many idols, heralds of stone and wood, precede and go before me," the Devil boasted" "Truly, I will be handsomely applauded when I assume my rightful place on the throne of earth."

"Just think," the Devil gloated to his demon courtiers as he and his legions quickly made their way upward, toward the cool surface of earth. "These idiots have long bought into my silly fiction called ‘Global Warming’. Ha ha ha. Now things are really going to be warm—Indeed, it’ll be hot—fire hot—on the old green planet."

"Yes," he exulted, steamy perspiration beads appearing on his wrinkled red brow, "when the people up there meet me in person, face to face, it’s going to be burning hot!"